This is a new poem, unrefined, but I thought I might share it--
dark stars circling
it’s my turn-let me be the devil
theatrical like the night like this:
the air cool and still
and you alone and lonely and lovely
you hate me again
i’ll come unwelcome but gently insistent
let me take it out of you
i want everything
every heartbreak
as i kiss your pursed lips
every small slight
as i caress your warm inner thigh
the quickening heartbeat of rage
when i tongue your ear
each bit of sadness
as i enter you like a slow train
the excited jealousy i inspire
expressed by your quivering member
the flashes of hatred caused by my fingers
playing across your back
the knowledge of infidelities
expressed in your moan as i thrust
your abrupt whimper of willful abandon
when i say i love you
the lights are low your eyes glow preternaturally
i repeat those words of ancient magic:
i love you
i love you
i love you
words of ecstasy destruction despair
words to wash us up on a desolate shore broken and bewildered
a web a box a cage an iron maiden of the heart
i rise up a dark bird of lust
you a sweet nest of despair-a torn prey
i’ve broken our hearts again
dropped us both on the rocks i’ve flown us above
i’m a fool-a waste of evil and intent
-oh god, i don’t remember our innocence
and you’re covered once more in a veil of despair
a cold winter’s bride
i don’t remember the first blush
the glorious green spring of you
can’t recall the first kiss on your soft neck
the first time i smelled you
the first taste of ear lips tongue
my pride at your side
things no lover should cast aside
can only grasp here and now and frantic feel you in my arms
here’s a devil in love and afraid and lashing out blind
desperate tonight looking
for original us
as you make me ache with weakness
we become a single creature on the bed-a vision a revelation
two romantics on that dark island of themselves-a deadly combination
the sensitivity the vivid passion too much to bear
the flowering of florid purple prose written on the heated body
springing up from gorgeous legs
and the fateful dance, the list of downward-sliding moments
here it is all melodrama and tic by tic read it:
-a tiny deceit born of jealousy
-a fearful need-a sudden irresponsible longing
-a slow realization in texts
-a surprised glance from across the room
-a brief passing, the air alive with scent electricity longing-or was it only lust?
-a dashed hope a butterfly trapped forever in chrysalis
-a grey morning’s regret that begins to eat and eat
-a darkening symbolist dream of want and need where nothing ends in happiness
-a martha and george passion-play
-a great novel of inexplicable love a twisted tale a cruel coup de grace
yes, all that all that we are-graceless
hopeless and ecstatic and afire with it
we cannot help it we cannot let this go
i am the devil and i love you
in all my-all our complicated ways
and we both know sometimes
something so heartbreakingly beautiful
must be destroyed
over and over again
dark stars redux: the other side of the black hole:
today i found part of a page you once tore out of my journal
and hid in the joy of cooking where the cookies start:
this morning i heard him sing in the shower when he thought i couldn’t hear he says his voice is terrible and god love him yes it is but over the sound of water there it rose plain and lovely and in the door i stood listening caught by what seemed to me the most beautiful sound i think i have ever heard i almost started to cry…
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